Nurses work long hours, handle tough situations, and still manage to bring smiles to people’s faces. They are the backbone of the healthcare system, and sometimes, a little humor is the best medicine! Whether you’re a nurse, know a nurse, or just love a good medical joke, these 120 nurse jokes are sure to make you laugh.
From funny patient interactions to hospital humor and lighthearted medical puns, this collection is dedicated to all the hardworking nurses out there. Let’s inject some laughter into your day!
General Nurse Jokes
Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work? In case she needed to draw blood!
What’s a nurse’s favorite type of humor? IV puns!
Why did the nurse break up with the doctor? He had no patience!
What do you call a nurse with a sense of humor? A registered pun practitioner!
Why did the nurse carry a pencil behind her ear? In case she had to draw blood!
What’s a nurse’s favorite plant? IVy!
How do nurses party? They bring their own IV bags!
What do nurses say to comfort nervous patients? “Don’t worry, this won’t hurt me a bit!”
Why do nurses always know what’s going on? Because they have inside knowledge!
How do nurses deal with stress? They take a deep breath and move on!
Patient and Doctor Interactions
Why did the nurse take a thermometer to work? Because she wanted to check the temperature of the situation!
Patient: “Nurse, I think I swallowed a pillow!” Nurse: “That’s hard to swallow.”
Doctor: “Did the patient take his medicine?” Nurse: “Yes, but I think he’s resisting arrest!”
Nurse: “The patient in room 5 is complaining about his diet.” Doctor: “Tell him it’s a hospital—not a five-star restaurant!”
Patient: “Nurse, I feel like a deck of cards!” Nurse: “Sit tight, I’ll deal with you later.”
Doctor: “How’s the patient?” Nurse: “Stable… but he keeps making horse jokes!”
Patient: “Nurse, do you have a cure for hiccups?” Nurse: Scares the patient “You’re welcome!”
Patient: “Nurse, will the doctor be long?” Nurse: “No, he’ll be human-sized as usual.”
Nurse: “Your chart says you have a broken leg.” Patient: “No, I’m here for a headache!” Nurse: “Oops… wrong chart!”
Doctor: “Do you know why the patient is acting strangely?” Nurse: “Yes, it’s called anesthesia.”
Hospital and Work-Related Jokes
Why did the nurse go to art school? She wanted to learn how to draw blood!
What’s a nurse’s favorite part of the hospital? The ICU!
Why did the nurse stand by the window? She wanted to give the patient some window therapy!
Nurses are like coffee—strong, warm, and keep you awake at night!
What’s the difference between a good nurse and a great nurse? About 12 cups of coffee!
Why did the hospital hire a comedian? Because they needed more laughter therapy!
Why do nurses love their jobs? Because every day is a shot at making someone feel better!
What did the nurse say when she lost her stethoscope? “I’m heartbroken!”
Nurse: “Did you take your meds today?” Patient: “No.” Nurse: “Congratulations! You’ve just won an extra visit from me!”
Why don’t hospitals play hide-and-seek? Because good nurses always find a way!
Medication and Treatment Jokes
Why don’t nurses trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something!
What did the nurse say when she found a patient sneaking snacks? “That’s off the charts!”
Why did the nurse go to the pharmacy? She wanted to get a dose of reality!
How do nurses like their coffee? Intravenously!
Why do nurses never get sick? They have immuni-tea!
What’s a nurse’s favorite painkiller? Laughing gas!
Nurse: “You need to take your medicine.” Patient: “Can I get it in chocolate?”
Why don’t nurses ever play poker? They can’t keep a straight face with all their poker patients!
What’s a nurse’s favorite type of candy? Advil-chocolate bars!
Why did the patient bring a ladder to the hospital? He heard the treatment was top-notch!
Night Shift and Tired Nurse Jokes
Why do night-shift nurses always seem tired? Because they work graveyard shifts!
What’s a night-shift nurse’s superpower? Functioning on no sleep!
Why did the nurse fall asleep standing up? Because she was exhaust-patients!
Nurse: “I’m so tired, I could sleep on a gurney!”
What’s a nurse’s least favorite time? 3 AM charting!
Why do nurses love coffee? Because sleep is not an option!
How do night-shift nurses wake up? They don’t—they just keep going!
What’s the scariest thing for a nurse? A double shift!
What do nurses dream about? More coffee breaks!
Why do nurses never sleep? Because patients keep them up!
Nursing School Jokes
Why did the student nurse carry a red pen? In case of a blood test!
How do nursing students survive? Caffeine and stress!
What’s a nursing student’s worst nightmare? Medication math tests!
What do you call a nursing student who passes a hard exam? A miracle!
Why do nursing students carry stethoscopes? To hear their hearts racing during exams!
How do nursing students memorize everything? They don’t!
Why do nurses never forget school? Because the trauma is real!
Why did the nursing student sit in the hospital waiting room? For extra credit!
What do you call a nurse with a 4.0 GPA? Nonexistent!
Nursing school: where you go in confident and leave mentally unstable!
Random and Silly Nurse Jokes
What’s a nurse’s favorite vegetable? IV peas!
Why do nurses love puns? Because they’re pain-relieving!
What do nurses use to navigate the hospital? Their gut feeling!
How do nurses greet each other? “Nice to vein you!”
What’s a nurse’s favorite horror movie? “The Ring”—as in call bells ringing all night!
What’s a nurse’s favorite dance? The IV drip!
Why are nurses always calm? Because they have patience!
What’s a nurse’s favorite subject? Patient-ology!
Why did the nurse put a watch on the IV pole? To keep an eye on the time!
What did the nurse say to the germ? “You’re not infecting me today!”
More Random and Silly Nurse Jokes
Why did the nurse carry a penlight? To brighten up her patients’ day!
What’s a nurse’s favorite workout? IV drip curls!
Why did the nurse take a nap in the supply closet? Because she needed a gauze for concern!
How do you recognize a tired nurse? They’re the ones using their stethoscope to find their car keys!
Why do nurses always bring extra socks? In case they find themselves in de-tox!
What do you call a nurse who doesn’t chart? Fiction writer!
Why do nurses always know what’s trending? Because they follow all the vital signs!
What do nurses and magicians have in common? They both make things disappear!
Why did the nurse refuse to play hide and seek? Because she was tired of running codes!
What’s a nurse’s favorite type of social media? Insta-gram positive!
Why did the nurse turn down a vacation? She didn’t want to deal with patient withdrawal!
What’s a nurse’s favorite type of dog? A Bloodhound!
Why don’t nurses play cards? Because they can’t deal with any more stress!
Why did the nurse bring a broom to work? To sweep through her shift!
What’s a nurse’s favorite romantic movie? The Notebook… for charting, of course!
Why did the nurse bring a ladder to work? To reach higher levels of care!
Why do nurses make great detectives? Because they always follow up!
Why did the nurse always bring an extra uniform? In case she got into a code blue situation!
What’s a nurse’s least favorite TV show? Breaking Bad… because meds should be taken properly!
Why do nurses make great counselors? Because they give support in doses!
What did the nurse say to the misbehaving thermometer? You’re out of line!
Why do nurses always win arguments? Because they have clinical reasoning!
Why do nurses love coffee breaks? Because caffeine is cheaper than therapy!
What do nurses and superheroes have in common? They both save lives while running on no sleep!
Why do nurses love roller coasters? They remind them of their vital signs during night shifts!
What’s a nurse’s favorite way to relax? A bubble chart… I mean, bath!
Why do nurses make great babysitters? Because they know how to handle screaming at all hours!
Why do nurses hate alarm clocks? Because they already get enough call bells ringing all night!
Why did the nurse take the elevator instead of the stairs? Because she had enough ups and downs for one shift!
What’s a nurse’s favorite superhero? Doctor Strange—because he always follows protocols!
Why don’t nurses play musical chairs? Because they never get to sit down anyway!
Why do nurses love math? Because they’re always calculating dosages!
What do you call a nurse’s handwriting? A secret code that only pharmacists can read!
Why did the nurse go to the library? To check out patient histories!
What do nurses say when things get chaotic? “This is just another day in the unit!”
Why do nurses love board games? Because they always check the vitals first!
Why did the nurse apply for a comedy show? Because she knew laughter is the best medicine!
Why do nurses never lose at trivia? Because they have all the medical knowledge at their fingertips!
What do nurses do when they retire? Write best-selling books about their craziest shifts!
Why do nurses never run out of jokes? Because they have a million patient stories to share!
Why don’t nurses use GPS? Because they already know all the shortcuts around the hospital!
What do you call a nurse’s dream vacation? One where no one calls her name for 12 hours straight!
Why did the nurse bring a notepad to the grocery store? Because she’s used to charting everything!
Why do nurses always have backup plans? Because patients never follow the first treatment plan!
Why do nurses make the best friends? Because they always listen and provide care!
What’s a nurse’s least favorite kind of patient? The one who Googles their symptoms before coming in!
Why do nurses never give up? Because they’re trained to handle code blue situations in life too!
What did the nurse say when her shift was finally over? “I need a STAT nap!”
Why do nurses always know when something’s wrong? Because they have strong gut instincts!
What do you call a nurse who loves their job? A hero in scrubs!
Nurses have one of the toughest jobs in the world, but their ability to find humor even in stressful situations is inspiring. Whether you’re working a long shift, studying for exams, or just need a good laugh, these 120 nurse jokes are here to lift your spirits. Remember—laughter is the best medicine, and nurses always know the right dose!