Puns have a reputation for being both brilliant and groan-worthy. Some make you laugh out loud, while others make you question the very fabric of humor itself. But let’s be honest—bad puns are their own special kind of hilarious.
This collection of 100 bad puns is guaranteed to make you roll your eyes, shake your head, and maybe even chuckle despite yourself. Whether they’re outrageously cheesy, painfully obvious, or just downright ridiculous, these puns prove that even the worst jokes can bring a little joy.
So brace yourself for some truly terrible wordplay—because these puns are about to get really bad!
Painfully Obvious Puns
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I told my suitcase there would be no vacations this year… now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
I wanted to be a historian, but I couldn’t find the time.
I bought a ceiling fan. It just sits there and cheers for the ceiling.
The mathematician was afraid of negative numbers—he would stop at nothing to avoid them.
I’m friends with all electricians—we have great current connections.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works… then it struck me.
I made a belt out of old watches. It was a waist of time.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
If a train station is where the train stops, what’s a workstation?
I tried to make a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Groan-Worthy Animal Puns
I’m friends with all my cows… we have a lot of moo-tual interests.
I wanted to tell a joke about a rabbit, but it was a hare-raising experience.
I had a pun about cows, but I lost it—guess it was pasture bedtime.
I got a job at a zoo, but I quit because I couldn’t handle the cheetahs.
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bay-gulls.
I told a joke about birds… but it really didn’t take off.
I asked my dog if he wanted to hear a joke, but he just rolled over.
I tried to start a beekeeping business, but it didn’t buzz.
My pet turtle loves puns, but he’s a little slow to react.
I got kicked out of the petting zoo for horsing around.
I told my cat a joke. She didn’t laugh—must have been a purr-sonal issue.
I wrote a book on penguins. It was cool, but nobody could get past the ice-breaking introduction.
I tried to make a fish pun, but I was too shell-shocked to think of one.
I tried to make a joke about a frog… but it just croaked.
My horse is an excellent listener—he’s always all ears.
I tried to play hide and seek with a cheetah. I lost.
My dog loves classical music. His favorite? Bark.
I saw a kangaroo in a library… I guess he was looking for a good jump-scare.
I saw a panda eating a sandwich. He said he was on a bear-it diet.
I adopted a chicken. Now I have an egg-citing new pet.
Food-Related Puns That Are Hard to Digest
I donut understand why people don’t like puns.
Lettuce celebrate bad puns together.
I love making puns, but I’m just winging it.
You butter believe I’m going to make more food jokes.
I tried to organize a hide-and-seek competition, but it was a complete pizza cake.
I’m on a seafood diet—I see food and I eat it.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
I asked my coffee how it was feeling. It said it was brewed to perfection.
I made a joke about bread, but it was a crumby idea.
The orange said to the banana, “You’re very a-peel-ing.”
I thought about making a joke about cereal, but I didn’t want it to be too corny.
I made a milk joke, but it wasn’t very dairy entertaining.
My potato puns are a-peeling but mashed together.
I made a joke about soup, but it was too watered down.
I started making jokes about cheese, but I think I’m getting too gouda at it.
I had a great joke about grapes, but it was too vine.
The cupcake and the muffin got in a fight… it was a batter situation.
My steak jokes are well done.
I made a joke about coffee, but it didn’t espresso my humor well enough.
The tomato couldn’t catch up with his friends.
Pun-ishing One-Liners
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a day off.
I wrote a song about a tortilla… actually, it’s more of a wrap.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger… then it hit me.
My dog used to chase people on a bike… it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
I made a belt out of paper… it was a waist of time.
I just burned 2,000 calories… I left my pizza in the oven too long.
I got a universal remote for Christmas… now I can control the universe.
I got into a fight with my GPS… it lost me.
I tried to write a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.
I got a new job at a bakery… I kneaded the dough.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with… she said yes, the others were all nines and tens.
I took up origami, but it’s tearing me apart.
I made a joke about fencing, but it was too pointed.
I put my money where my mouth is… now my wallet’s missing.
I started a business selling Velcro, but it’s a ripoff.
I didn’t trust the guy selling mirrors—he seemed shady.
My flashlight quit working, I guess it lost its glow.
The Last (and Worst) of the Bad Puns
I bought some Velcro, but it was a total rip-off.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
I told my plants a joke… now they’re rooted in laughter.
I wanted to become a baker, but I couldn’t handle the kneadiness.
I told my boss three puns to try to make him laugh, but no pun in ten did.
I made a pun about construction, but I’m still working on it.
I was going to make a chemistry joke, but I didn’t get a reaction.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
I asked my dog what two minus two was… he said nothing.
My job at the coffee shop isn’t great, but it’s a latte better than my last one.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo… so I had to put my foot down.
I wanted to tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
I used to be a magician, but I pulled my last trick and disappeared.
I don’t trust trees. They seem kind of shady.
I tried to make a joke about the ocean, but it was too deep.
I asked the clock if it had time to talk, but it just kept ticking me off.
I tried to take a selfie with the sun, but it was too bright for me.
I told my boss I was quitting to become a comedian… he just laughed.
Sometimes, the worst puns are the best puns. Whether you laughed, groaned, or just shook your head in disappointment, one thing is clear—bad puns will always have a place in our hearts (and our jokes). So keep punning, because even the worst wordplay can bring a smile to someone’s face!