Getting a colonoscopy may not be the most glamorous event on your calendar, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some humor in it! Whether you’re prepping for the big day, supporting a friend, or just looking for some belly laughs, these 100 colonoscopy puns will keep the mood light.
So, let’s dive deep (pun intended) into some gut-busting jokes that will leave you in stitches—hopefully not literally!
Colonoscopy Puns to Kick Things Off
This procedure is a real pain in the butt.
I’m just here for the scope of it all.
Bottom line—get checked!
It’s the only time you’re encouraged to be full of it before showing up.
A gut feeling tells me this will be funny.
Let’s get to the bottom of this!
This is the only tunnel I don’t want light at the end of.
Colonoscopies: The only time a camera up your backside is encouraged.
Keep calm and cleanse on.
The doctor is about to take a sneak peek at my past meals.
My gut tells me everything will be fine.
Let’s flush out any doubts about this procedure.
One small tube for the doctor, one giant leap for my colon health.
A true test of friendship is driving someone home after this.
They said I needed to “go under” for this. I thought they meant the table.
Who knew I’d be getting a backstage pass to my own intestines?
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear rubber gloves.
The only event where being completely empty is a requirement.
Colonoscopies: Proof that the past does, in fact, come back to haunt you.
This is one deep dive I never wanted to take.
More Puns to Digest
If I had a dollar for every awkward moment today, I could pay my bill.
Nothing like getting your pipes checked by a professional!
No ifs, ands, or butts—this is happening.
I thought this was going to be a gas, but turns out I’m just full of air.
I’ll be sending my regards… from the other end.
Today’s diet? Clear liquids and bad decisions.
I knew something was up when the doctor said, “We’re going in!”
They said this would be painless, but my dignity is in critical condition.
I’ve lost count of how many people know me from the inside out now.
This is the only time I hope the doctor finds absolutely nothing.
Knocked out, cleaned out, and slightly traumatized.
I’m going to have the cleanest gut on the block.
There’s nothing quite like a camera up your behind to keep you humble.
This is one case where being full of hot air is a good thing.
The only cleanse that doesn’t involve kale.
What goes in must come out… just not the same way.
I have no choice but to go with the flow today.
If the doctor starts humming the Indiana Jones theme, I’m out.
My doctor called me brave. I call it survival.
The phrase “up yours” has never been more accurate.
Laughs Before You Go Under
This is the only time I want my doctor to find me unremarkable.
I hope my doctor at least takes me out to dinner after this.
Now I know what it’s like to be a YouTube vlog for medical students.
This is one film screening I won’t be reviewing.
My colon’s about to be the star of a medical documentary.
I didn’t think I’d go viral, but I guess my insides are trending.
The only premiere event where I hope no one watches the footage.
When they said I’d be making a big exit today, this isn’t what I pictured.
It’s like a roller coaster, but all the turns happen inside your body.
No one ever talks about the bloopers of a colonoscopy.
It’s showtime for my intestines!
I didn’t know I’d be starring in an inside job.
Can we all agree the camera should be optional?
A colonoscopy is like a movie premiere—except the popcorn is replaced with laxatives.
Just another day in the tube.
I should’ve charged an admission fee for this screening.
I hope the doctor doesn’t ask me to “say cheese.”
The only red carpet event where no one wants to be seen.
At least I get a nap out of it.
This is the closest I’ll ever get to being famous.
Puns for the Recovery Phase
I woke up, and the first thing I asked was if I won.
I’m officially running on empty—literally.
My insides are cleaner than my house.
I just completed the most extreme detox of my life.
The prep was the worst part… and I lived to tell the tale.
I’m celebrating my squeaky-clean intestines with a cheeseburger.
My gut has never been this photogenic before.
My stomach just sighed in relief.
I finally get to eat solid food, and I’ve never been happier.
The real MVP? Whoever invented sedation.
I’m officially out of the deep end.
I hope I never hear the words “colonoscopy prep” again.
Today’s theme was “fasting and furious.”
My intestines just took part in an Olympic-level cleanse.
My stomach is staging a comeback tour.
I came, I saw, I conquered… a lot of fluids.
My doctor just gave me a clean bill of health… and I’ve never been prouder.
If anyone needs a colonoscopy survival guide, I’m your person.
I survived the cleanse, now bring me the carbs.
Who knew the biggest challenge of adulthood would be drinking four liters of prep?
Puns for a Strong Exit
I’m flushed with success.
It was a tough journey, but I made it out the other end.
I feel like a new person, inside and out.
My colon is officially Instagram-ready—too bad I can’t post it.
I hope my next screening is in a movie theater, not a hospital.
Now that it’s over, I can finally unclench.
You know it’s a good colonoscopy when your doctor says, “See you in 10 years.”
I came, I flushed, I conquered.
This was the weirdest spa day of my life.
If colonoscopies came with a rewards program, I’d like my points now.
Nothing says self-care like a medical camera up your rear.
My stomach and I are officially on speaking terms again.
The only thing worse than the prep? The bill.
I feel lighter than ever—literally.
If my intestines could talk, they’d say, “That was unnecessary.”
I’m putting this experience behind me—pun intended.
My gut tells me I never want to do that again.
Today was a journey through the digestive system that I never asked for.
Here’s to hoping I don’t remember a thing.
Colonoscopies: The only time you wake up hoping the doctor says, “Everything looks boring.”
A Clean Getaway
And that’s a wrap! Colonoscopies may not be the highlight of your year, but they sure make for great material. Whether you’re dreading your first one, recovering from the prep, or just here for the laughs, remember: humor makes everything better. Stay healthy, stay laughing, and most importantly—stay regular!