Dad puns are a special kind of humor—groan-worthy, cringy, and yet somehow, always hilarious. Whether you love them or love to hate them, there’s no denying their power to bring a chuckle (or an eye-roll).
This collection of 100 dad puns is filled with cheesy, pun-derful jokes that dads everywhere would be proud of. So buckle up, because things are about to get dad-tastically funny!
Classic Dad Puns That Never Get Old
I don’t trust stairs… they’re always up to something.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… so she gave me a hug.
I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know which comes first.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go!
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y.
I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.
I used to work at a shoe factory, but I just didn’t have the sole for it.
I told my wife she should make a coffee table book about coffee tables. She said that idea was too meta.
My hotel tried to charge me ten extra dollars for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
I don’t play soccer because I enjoy it—I just do it for kicks.
I was going to tell a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I would tell you a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
I tried to make a belt out of watches… it was a waist of time.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
Food Puns That Are Extra Cheesy
I told my wife I’d make dinner, but I taco-vered my true talent was ordering takeout.
I don’t trust people who dislike pizza—they seem a little crusty.
I was going to tell you a joke about butter, but I didn’t want to spread it too thin.
I just found out I’m allergic to pasta… now I’m feeling cannelloni.
My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo… so I had to put my foot down.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
I donut know what I’d do without dad jokes.
I relish the fact that I’ve mustard the strength to ketchup on dad jokes.
This steak joke is well done.
My wife says I have too much cheese in my diet. I told her that’s nacho problem.
I made a joke about corn, but it was too corny.
I can’t espresso how much I love coffee.
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m fine, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
I made a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
I told my wife she was baking too much. She said I was being a loaf.
I’m reading a book on baking. It’s a real page-turner.
I was going to tell a joke about vegetables, but I carrot stop laughing.
My wife said she was leaving me because I talk too much about pasta. I said, “No, please, I’m penne-less!”
I told my family I was making waffles for dinner. They flipped.
I can’t believe it’s butter than I expected!
Animal Puns That Are Purr-fectly Funny
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
I used to be a fisherman, but I couldn’t catch a break.
I tried to make a pun about sheep, but it was baaaaad.
I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” So I tried to avoid them, but they just kept falling!
I told my pet turtle a joke… he just stuck his neck out and laughed.
I otter tell you, I love dad jokes.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
I cat believe how funny dad jokes are!
My dog only listens when treats are involved. That’s a ruff situation.
What do cows read? The moos-paper.
I asked my bird if he wanted a snack. He said, “Toucan play at that game!”
I tried to train my pet fish, but he kept floundering.
My horse only talks when he’s feeling stable.
I bought a pet duck. I named him Quack Sparrow.
My parrot keeps imitating me. I told him to stop, but he said, “I told him to stop!”
I wanted to make a joke about octopuses, but I was too tentacled up.
My hamster loves exercise—he’s always wheel-y busy.
I had a joke about flamingos, but it flew away.
Job and Work-Related Dad Puns
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I tried working at a bank, but I lost interest.
I used to be a doctor, but I lost my patience.
My job at the coffee shop wasn’t great, but it had its perks.
I told my coworkers a joke about elevators—it was uplifting.
I got a job at a mirror factory. It’s something I can really see myself doing.
My dad got a job at the zoo… it was in tents.
I wanted to be a lawyer, but I couldn’t handle the briefs.
I applied for a job as a historian, but there was no future in it.
I was a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
My job at the bakery was crumby.
I tried to get a job as a carpenter, but I wasn’t built for it.
My job as a window cleaner is clear as day.
I wanted to be a tailor, but I just didn’t fit.
My job at the orange juice factory was squeezed out.
I once worked at a clock factory… but it was only a matter of time before I quit.
My wife says I tell too many dad jokes at work. I told her I’m just keeping things pun-ctual.
I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t tackle the pressure.
I tried working at a shoe store, but I had no sole for it.
I worked at a paper company, but it folded.
Random Dad Puns That Will Make You Groan
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I bought a boat because it was on sail.
I told my wife I’d make a belt out of watches, but she said it would be a waist of time.
I tried to make a joke about chemistry, but I got no reaction.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
I told my plants a joke… but they just needed time to grow on it.
I named my dog “Five Miles” so I can tell people I walk Five Miles every day.
My wife asked me if I wanted to go to the seafood restaurant, and I said, “I’m feeling a little shellfish today.”
I used to play hide and seek professionally, but I always got spotted.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
I told my wife she should write a book about laziness… but she said it’s too much work.
I used to be a gardener, but I couldn’t handle the pressure… I just needed to leaf.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
I made a pun about paper, but it was tear-able.
I used to be a shoe salesman, but I just didn’t have the right sole for it.
My dad once told me he was allergic to nuts… and then he married my mom.
I wanted to learn how to make ice cream, but I got cold feet.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Wait… did I say that already?
I told my dad joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
Dad puns are timeless, cringeworthy, and yet somehow always entertaining. Whether you’re looking for a joke to tell at the dinner table or just need a good laugh, these dad puns will always have your back!